August 20, 2021 Dear Darkened Rose, I recently read a discussion board full of anxious mothers where they were talking about when their first pregnancies finally felt real. The rational people were saying, “when I heard my baby’s heartbeat for the first time.” My kind of people were giving answers like, “2 months after the … Continue reading 4.8 – Neglecting Happiness is the Groundwork of Depression
July 1, 2021 Dear Darkened Rose, Since I was a teenager, I have written countless prose and poetry bits and journal entries about matrescence and motherhood. Needless to say, I have very carefully awaited this time in my life. Many, many tears have been shed from a deep fear that this time would never come. … Continue reading 3.7 – What were your first trimesters like?
August 31, 2020 (Mawmaw’s birthday, I hope you visited with her) Dear Darkened Rose, I remember on one of my first appointments with Madeline Alford she asked me a version of an age-old counselor’s question— When can you last remember being effortlessly happy? Considering at that time I would have been an early teenager, I … Continue reading 3.6 – When was the last time you were happy?
January 19, 2020 Dear Darkened Rose, Now more than ever, I feel as though I am the most healthily aware version of myself as I have ever been. While I may not yet be at the peak of having met my strongest state of mental health, I can see that I am watching myself climb … Continue reading 3.5 – The children’s book
May 12, 2019 Dear Darkened Rose, Happy Mother’s Day, you beautiful woman! I am here writing to you when I probably shouldn’t be. I most certainly should be focusing my attention on schoolwork until Wednesday, but I have just really felt that I needed to open this window today. So let’s chat. A while back, … Continue reading 3.4 – What would I do if I had another moment with you?
February 27, 2019 Dear Darkened Rose, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, WOMAN!!!!!!!!! The other morning, as I got in the shower, this fear washed over me—”How possible is it that I will die today?!?” To say the least, my id mind can be such a drama queen. I think it’s worth mentioning, though, that I can very distinctly … Continue reading 3.3 – Did You Stop Fearing Death?
Dear Darkened Rose, I have missed you quietly and gently this past year. Lately, I have been consumed with trying to figure out how to “critically think” like a properly cultured human. I try finding conversations for gaining and sharing ideas. Usually, in failing to have done the latter, I purge with word vomiting sessions. […]
July 12, 2017 Dear Darkened Rose, You often mentioned your wish to donate your body to science, and I was always so proud of you for wanting that. It turns out, you never made plans for it. In our welter of grief, we did what was easiest for us when nothing was clarified in writing. I … Continue reading 3.1 – What Are You Doing With Your Body?